The "Man Duties"

Oh do I have a few stories for you.

These are what husbands/ boyfriends/ anyone but me are for, kind of stories.

When going to get my oil changed, I usually leave getting more than that done because I am told that "my car needs it". Well my car is like my  baby and you cant neglect your baby right?
WRONG!
Because William told me just because they tell you that your air filters are dusty and causing me to breath all that in doesn't mean its true. And the synthetic oil, while good for your car is just as good as the regular as long as you change it every 3 months. No the power steering is not out on my car like the mechanic said, its a 2011 for crying out loud, but how am I suppose to know that?
So needless to say, William changes the oil in my car now.

A few years back I decided to be a nice wife and buy William a truck. He had been wanting one for a while, and I was always sick of him borrowing my Honda Element that I use to have to drive to Vegas and back for work. So I went on the trusty site of Craigslist (mistake number one) and bought my man a 95' Black F-150 without him even seeing it first! (mistake number two right) So I pay the man and take off in my new purchase that had 250,000 miles on it. What are miles but a number anyway? (mistake number three) I show William and he seemed pleasantly surprised. He just laughed at first. SO then I take it to the mechanic to have it looked at. (mistake number four is not taking it to the mechanic BEFORE I purchased the thing) We got new tires put on it (KA-CHING). Then there was a leak here and a broken part there! (KA-CHING KA-CHING) Then we found out that the guy unplugged the check engine light. (That bass-crap) So all in all we payed just as much in fixing up the stupid truck (mistake number five) then we did purchasing it.
And that Ladies, and maybe Gentlemen is why I am NEVER allowed to buy a motorized vehicle without the husbands knowledge. And I agree with him for giving me this punishment.

Killing spiders, and capturing the moths.

Putting air in my bike tires. Seriously, I don't know how to put air in my tires. I always deflate the whole tube before I can get the stupid hook thing on the tire thing. See I don't even know the right terms for the tire!

Taking out the trash. Seriously, if it smells and is growing penicillin it needs to go out. But what do I do? Well that is what husbands/ boyfriends/ anyone but me are for. So I leave it to collect more trash, and to acquire more smell. This reminds me.. can you smell that?

Mowing the lawn. Seriously this is no lie. William grew up back East in Washington D.C. area. From the stories he tells their house was huge, their yard was even bigger. He had NEVER mowed a lawn in his life until we got married. Not even when we got married, like in the last 6 months was his first time mowing the lawn. We had always paid someone to come mow our lawn, but since were on super budget mode, we cancelled the lawn mower guy. So we borrow my parents lawn mower, and I have been making William learn how to mow the lawn. It takes him a good 3 times around the lawn to get all the places he has missed but sooner or later, he gets all the stragglers.

Feeding the Turtles/ Cleaning the Turtle tank. We have 7 turtles and one large turtle tank. Well to back up this story. When we were first married we bought 7 turtles. They were the size of a quarter, and so cute, and I LOVED holding them. A few months after they kept dying off and I had no clue why. When we called the shop we got them from they asked if anyone had been holding them. GUILTY. Because I had lotion, or anything on my hands it killed them. So we were down to 2 turtles. But then our friend told us about this guy that had all these turtles and could keep them, so we adopted 5 turtles that day. Now we are back to the lucky number 7. While these were once cute cuddly turtles, they have grown bigger than my hands and try to flippin eat me any time I try to feed them. I can just see them coming at me with their devil eyes. So this has become a "Man Duty". As for cleaning the tank, well with 7 turtles, and 15 fish, there is no way this hand and arm are going into that poop infested water!

And if you live in our household, the husband does the dishes. That is not my job either. You see we have an agreement. When I asked William if he would rather do the dishes, or the laundry he chose the dishes. Now I am usually really good with putting my own dishes in the dish washer as soon as I am done with them. But if William hasn't unloaded the dishes, then my dishes accumulate in the sink. My fault? I think not. So they grow and grow and grow until William decides that its time to do HIS job. Then I sit on the couch laughing at him like a good evil wifey. Why am I laughing? Because the stench of the dishes is so horrendous, and William has such a weak stomach that he just about vomits all over! Seriously, next time I'll try to record him. Its fantastic.

And that ladies and maybe gentlemen are the "Man Duties" in our household.

What are the "Man Duties" in your household? I love hearing all the different things that people do in their homes. Like if your my mom and dad, my mom does most of the car work. Funny huh? Changing tires, lights, she is amazing. But in my house hold I wouldn't even know how to get a tire off.

XOXO, Tere